After 5 years of marriage and 3 years of trying to conceive, we are finally going to be parents.
In this log, I will keep you up to date on what is happening.  Our photo gallery will provide some photos as we go along this journey.

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9/28/2007 ~ I have am going back to work on Monday after three weeks of being off work.  The past few weeks have been difficult, but Dr. Talcott said that I should have one more week off.  I took his advise and took the third week off - I am really glad that I did.  It helped give me just that extra time to get back to "normal."  Life will never be normal again, but I can at least function.  I am having nightmares lately.  Kevin hasn't had too much time to grieve properly - it will come out eventually.

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9/12/2007 ~ Now back to reality.  Putting the pieces back together.  And really begin our grieving and mourning.  Now the parents and friends have all gone home and it is just Kevin and me.  They are still there for us if we need them, but we are now alone to begin the healing process.  Kevin's saddest times are in the evening (that is when he used to slow down enough and talk to my tummy - telling Skylar that he can't wait until she gets here).  My saddest times are in the morning.  I cry and cry until I am all cried out and then I somehow make it through the day until it is time to collapse in bed.  Kevin and I are doing everything we can to comfort each other - even though neither of us can take the pain away, it is nice to have someone to talk to about what we are feeling.

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9/11/2007 ~ We went to visit Skylar at the cemetery today.  We had picked out the gravemarker yesterday and had to take the temporary marker out there.  We tied a pink ribbon on the temporary marker and "planted" a Stargazer lily there as well.  Those were her flowers and if you want to know the whole story of that...you will have to ask me in person.

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9/10/2007 ~ Today we laid Skylar to rest in Hanley Cemetery in Georgetown Township (Ottawa county, MI).  She was cremated and laid to rest in our newly acquired family plots (thanks to Lillian and Don VanderVeen - they deeded the plots to us as they were not needed by their families).  Pastor Jim Kelly presided over the gravesite.  He said some very beautiful things about our little girl (although I can't quite remember them right now).

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9/9/2007 ~ Today is the funeral and visitation.  We have to be at the funeral home at 11 am for photos. A wonderful woman named Amber has offered her services - free of charge - to take some family photos of the three of us.  When we were finished, we got ready to receive family and friends.  The funeral arrangements Kevin and Kurt Stegenga made were absolutely wonderful.  I couldn't have done better myself.  Everything was tasteful and beautiful.  It was a long day.  We received visitors from 2-4:30 pm and then had a very beautiful service from 4:30-5 pm.  Pastor John Dawson presided at the service.  At 5 pm, we took a break and went upstairs to the funeral home's apartment and had some food (donated by Tommy Brann, Mars Hill Bible Church and Marge Wilson who owns Marge's Donut Den).  After our break, everyone went back downstairs to receive more guests, but I just couldn't do it.  I was exhausted and drained.  The funeral home had a bed in one of the rooms of the apartment and my mom and I slept there for the duration of the evening.  Kevin called us back downstairs at 8 pm to say our final goodbyes.  After kissing Skylar one last time (okay many times), we finally left and went home.  That night was particularly hard, because it seemed so final.

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9/8/2007 ~ I rested most of the day at home.  My parents were there as well as Kevin's mom.  Kevin and I both needed to have that time to recover.  He dealt with more funeral arrangements.  In the evening (I can't remember what time it was), I had to go back to the hospital because of the pain in my head, neck and back.  The doctors took forever getting pain medication into me, but once they did, things were much better.  I wasn't drinking enough fluids to replace the missing fluid in my spinal column.

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9/7/2007 ~ By about 1 pm, I was well enough and alert enough to go home.  That was a hard thing to do as well - leave the hospital without my daughter.  I cried and cried.  Kevin took very good care of me, but he cried too.  He got so attached to her in such a short amount of time.  He always said that he wasn't a "baby guy", but after this experience, he certainly changed his mind.  He says now that he treasured every precious moment with her.

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9/6/2007 ~ Skylar Anne Green was born at 6:15 am today.  She was so small and fragile and so quiet.  We were able to hold her and get to know her for most of the day.  The staff at Metro Health Hospital was amazing.  Anita Sue Wood was our patient advocate and grief counselor.  She made sure that we got to spend time with Skylar, hold her and take photos with her.  This created the only memories of her we will ever have.  I had a lot of physical pain to deal with during the delivery as the epidural punctured the spinal column and drained it of fluid.  The headaches I experienced were worse than the contractions.  The doctors did eventually figure out what happened and were able to help me (alleviate the pain).  Kevin was so wonderful during all of this as he spent the day trying to arrange the funeral.  As I said, Skylar was born at 6:15 am...we finally let her go with the funeral director at 8 pm.  It was hard to let her go, but we knew that she had to go at some point.  She was so fragile and small and bruised.  We cried all day and night.  It was hard to sleep that night as we could hear the cries of other babies.  Our family and friends were there with us the entire time and offered as much support as they could.  It was a hard day for everyone.

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9/5/2007 ~ After a very busy Labor Day weekend (Kevin swam the Mackinac Straights for the 50th anniversary of the Bridge), I noticed that the baby wasn't very active.  Today I called the doctor just to be sure that everything was fine.  He was in surgery that day and asked me to go to the hospital to get checked out.  The technicians couldn't find a heart beat - one that had been so strong up until now.  They did an ultrasound and didn't find any movement or a heart beat.  My world came crashing in on me - I had lost the baby!  My mom was with me.  I called Kevin in Lansing right away and he drove as fast as he could to the hospital.  The doctors confirmed the unbelievable news with another ultrasound and began talking to me about what comes next.  Because the baby was 7 months along, they were going to induce labor and have me deliver the baby normally.  They began the procedures about 10 pm and I began the process.

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7/22/2007 ~ Yes, there are many gaps in this baby log...After I was soooo sick for the first few months, life got very busy.  I promise to fill in the gaps soon.  Baby and mommy are doing well.  The baby is moving around a lot right now and growing.  I am finally starting to show, but there are some people who can't tell.  I have only gained about 5 lbs so far.  My doctor sarcastically says "don't over-do it now on the weight gain."  I just responded..."I am pacing myself."

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6/30/2007 ~ We are leaving for the UP for a week.  We decided to go up now since we won't be able to go at our normal time (Thanksgiving) this year due to the baby being due only 2 weeks prior to that.  While we are up there, we will visit with family and friends.  My mother-in-law, Colleen, has planned a baby shower for us on the 7th.  We are really looking forward to having our fist baby shower.  I will write details of the trip upon our return.

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4/26/2007 ~ At 11 1/2 weeks, the morning sickness has really set in and it seems to be getting worse with each day.  I have given up functioning (cleaning and being proactive with everything) other than going to work and trying not to throw up.  Our next appointment is on May 4. 

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4/23/2007 ~ Kevin has decided to give up his apartment in Lansing, so we spent Sunday packing his things and bringing them home.  This meant that we brought his dresser back.  We are going to use it in the baby's room.  I spent about an hour in the baby's room sorting things and setting up the dresser.  I was finally able to unpack all of the nick-knacks that I have had packed away for the past 3 years.  I knew that I had quite a few bumble bee items, but it was fun going through them all and being able to set them all out.  My parents are going to let us use the crib and changing table that they purchased a few years ago as they aren't using it any more (long story).  To get to the crib, we just need to get the boat out of the pole barn.

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4/14/2007 ~ Colleen, Kevin and I went shopping today.  We decided to begin a registry at Walmart.  Kevin and I have begun a registry at Babies R Us, but we wanted to have another choice as well.  Since there are limited shopping choices in the UP, we chose Walmart.  We went over there and began picking out all of the fun baby things.  When we got finished, we went to Target because there was one thing that I wanted to get that is only available at that store - the So Easy Baby Food Kit.  We were unable to find the kit (come to find out it is exclusively online).  One we were able to see the variety of items offered at Target (vs. Walmart), we decided to change our registry.  We are now at Babies R Us and Target.

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4/13/2007 ~ Colleen came down for a visit today.  She was supposed to come yesterday, but we got a freak spring storm and the snow in Marquette was really awful.  Colleen slid off the road and had to turn back. to Grandma Green's.  She was fine, but a little shaken up.  It is probably better that she came a day later anyway, as I was so sick on the 12th.  I wouldn't have been any fun.  We spent the day catching up, relaxing and watching some good movies.

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4/6/2007 ~ We had our third ultrasound today and the baby is growing very well.  Dr. Dodds is very satisfied with the progress and he is transferring us to our regular OB.  We have chosen Dr. Joseph Talcott.  He has been my OB for several years now and he is a wonderful doctor.

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3/23/2007 ~ Kevin and I went to see Dr. Dodds today for our 6 week check up and our first ultrasound.  We were so nervous going into the appointment.  We were so excited to find out that there was one very strong baby in there.  We even got to hear the heart beat (105 beats per minute)!  This is a normal rate for 5 weeks and 6 days.  Dr. Dodds has recommended that I get enough rest, eat healthy and take my vitamins.  I have been doing these things, but it was good to hear that I am doing things right so far.  The doctor also recommended that I not take a chance with my Mississippi trip (coming at the end of this month), so unfortunately, I have called Fulton Sheen and let him know that I won't be accompanying them.  We go back to Dr. Dodds' office in two weeks to have another ultrasound.  If everything is fine at that point, we will "graduate" to our regular OB, Dr. Talcott.

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3/19/2007 ~ We did well shopping.  I got some new jeans - that actually fit - and a few shirts (for spring/summer).  We also went to JoAnn Fabrics to pick out some fabric samples.  Nancy Waits is going to make us a throw for the nursery.  Our theme is bumble bees.  It is going to be really cute - very neutral as we are not going to find out the sex of the baby.

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3/16/2007 ~ My mother and I are going shopping this afternoon for my first maternity clothes.  Things still fit okay, but the are a little snug and a bit uncomfortable.  So, an afternoon at the mall should fix that.

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3/15/2007 ~ We made the public announcement this evening at Kevin's annual St. Patrick's Day fundraiser.  Everyone was so happy for us.  We also found out that night, that there are several other people who are going to have babies around the same time as we are!  Must be something in the water.  Ha Ha.

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3/11/07 ~ We have made the announcement to our parents.  Since Kevin's parents live in the UP and are not available in person, we wanted to tell them all at the same time.  How did we do it? My dad, Mike, just got back from visiting friends in Phoenix and my mom, Judy, invited us up for Sunday dinner.  We accepted.  Kevin's mom, Colleen, is planning on making a trip down here in mid-April.  We are going to call her on Sunday to confirm all of the details for her trip.  I am making up a "present" that we will give to the parents while we are at my parents' house and the Greens are on the phone.  The present will be a small box with the two pregnancy test in it (covered by packing materials so not to be obvious at first).  On the top, there will be a little note.  The note says, "Here is a little present for the 4 of you that you have been wanting for what seems a very long time..."

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3/10/2007 ~ Today I went shopping for the right foods to help our new baby develop correctly.  I also put together a spreadsheet of what is recommended for a day.  I got the recommendations for "What to Expect when you are expecting.  Mood swings are quite great today.

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3/9/2007 ~ Both pregnancy tests have come back positive.  I contacted Dr. Dodd's office and we scheduled lab work.  That also came back positive this afternoon...so it is true!!!